manypeoplebelievemistressesarekeyfactorsinunhappymarriages.photo : IC
很多人认为第三方是导致婚姻不幸的重要图。 集成电路
三劝诱师Assassins for love
原文刊登在《环球时报》 20151011期
Last Saturday a forum，organizedbythechinamaritalfamilyworkassociation，attracteddozensofmarriageandfamilycounselorsinshanghanghi
上周六，由中国婚姻家庭工作联合会主办的第二届婚姻家庭咨询服务行业高峰论坛在上海举行，数十位婚姻家庭顾问与会。 这次论坛将讨论“如何分离第三方”的主题。
forthesecounselorsthethirdparty，the mistress，isoneofthekeyfactorsinunhappymarriages.forumco-organizer Shuxin， thedirectoroftheshanghaiweiqingmarriagecompanywhichconductsmarriagecounseling，toldtheglobaltimesthatpercentofthiscompany & any #039； sclientsseekingforhelponmarriages、male and female、hadproblemsinvolvingthirdpartiages
维情顾问们认为，第三方是导致不幸婚姻的重要因素之一。 本届论坛主办方、中国婚姻家庭工作联合会会长、维情国际婚姻医院情感诊所院长于畅告诉《环球时报》记者，来维情集团求助的客人中，80%的人都在寻求小三、保婚。
&； #039； inthepastwhentheyencounteredathird-partyproblemmostchinesecoupleswouldgetdivorcedwithouthesitation，but now the situation has chas #039； Shusaid.&； #039； moreandmorewivesarechoosingtofighttheirhusbands & amp； #039； mistressesanddefendtheirmarrriager
“曾经，当婚姻遇到第三者时，人们会毫不犹豫地离婚，但现在情况不同了。 ”舒适地说，“越来越多的妻子选择保护自己的婚姻，和第三者战斗，她们不想退缩。”
分散的wives
痛苦的妻子们
theweiqingcompanywasestablishedinandnowhasbranchesacrossthecountry，specializing in d
ealing with the extra-marital affairs for its costumers, most of whom are distressed wives who have only just discovered their husbands' infidelity.In the company there is a special team of nearly� consultants - "the mistress assassins." Their work involves finding the mistresses and persuading them to leave. In�, these "assassins" successfully handled some,552 cases, saving,316 marriages. "Nearly� people come to us every day, asking for mistresses or lovers to be removed," Shu said.
维情集团成立于2001年新婚姻法颁布之日，现在全国59个城市开办了“婚姻医院情感诊所”，专门从事维情服务，帮助客户分离第三者，求助者大部分是发现丈夫出轨而陷入痛苦的妻子们。
维情国际婚姻医院情感诊所拥有将近300人的专业服务团队，这些维情咨询师被媒体和大众形象地称之为：“小三劝退师”。他们的工作内容包括找出婚姻中的第三者，并劝说他们离开。2014年一年，维情团队成功“分离小三”8552个，“成功挽救婚姻”5316对。舒心告诉《环球时报》记者，“维情集团每天接待200多人次咨询，大部分都是求助分离第三者或情人。”
A current case involves a housewife in Henan Province. In September, the woman contacted Shu and said her husband had become involved with another woman and worse still, the other woman was now pregnant. The wife asked Shu to get rid of the mistress and get the husband to return home. Shu accepted the case for a minimum fee of�,000 yuan ($31,520) - to be paid in full if the company succeeded.
在一桩来自河南的委托服务中，9月份，客户联系到舒心，这位家庭主妇发现自己的丈夫有了外遇，更糟的是，丈夫的外遇对象已经怀孕了。妻子要求舒心和他的团队协助分离小三，让丈夫回归家庭，舒心接受了这项委托，并告知客户，如果服务成功，她需要支付至少20万元（3.152万元美金）的维情服务费用。
The wife agreed and paid Shu a deposit of,000 yuan. "Our 'assassins' are going to Henan Province to talk to the husband and his mistress," Shu told the Global Times.
妻子同意了，并支付了2万元定金。舒心告诉环球时报的记者：“我们的维情咨询师会前往河南接触当事人的丈夫及小三，开展工作。”
Although the�,000-yuan fee is very substantial for most people in China, for this company this is the minimum fee. Shu explained that-75 percent of the money is usually spent on finding and befriending the mistress. "These mistresses love luxury goods, and to win their trust our employees often have to give them expensive gifts - like,000-yuan bracelets."
尽管对大多数中国家庭而言，20万元是一笔相当可观的费用，但对于维情集团，这却仅仅是服务费用的起价。舒心称服务费用的50%-75%通常用于结交第三者，与其建立关联。“小三热爱奢侈品，要赢得她们的信任，我们的人员往往需要赠送其昂贵的礼物，比如一只手镯就价值5万元。”
But that's just the start. Most of these mistresses are attractive young women living in rented apartments in exclusive residential areas so the "assassins" will rent an apartment nearby and live there for months on end. Last year in Beijing Shu said the company was involved in a case where the mistress lived in an exclusive residential compound in downtown Chaoyang district. To get close to her the "assassin" had to spend about�,000 yuan renting an apartment in the same compound for five months.
而这只是服务的开始。绝大多数小三都是年轻漂亮的女人，她们居住在租来的高档公寓住宅区，维情服务人员会在她们住所附近也租上一套公寓，居住数月时间直至服务结束。舒心告诉记者，去年的一桩委托，小三住在北京市朝阳区的高档住宅区内，为了能够接近第三者，维情服务人员不得不在同一小区内租房5个月，仅此项开销就约10万元。
中国婚姻家庭工作联合会会长舒心
Making friends
第三者的朋友圈
After moving in the "assassin" watched out for when the mistress went walking or jogging around the compound and started walking or jogging, eventually befriending the young woman by posing as a neighbor. "We never tell them who we are. Usually we pretend we are neighbors and make friends with them," Shu said.
It's not easy for an "assassin" to win a mistress's trust. Sometimes the Weiqing Company employees pose as housekeepers or babysitters to get close to their targets. In another case in June, after a wealthy Shanghai man's mistress gave birth to a child, his wife came to Shu for help. One of the company's "assassins" then got a job as a nanny for the new-born baby in the mistress's apartment, looking after the baby and chatting with the young woman.
搬进租房后，维情人员会观察小三何时散步或慢跑，选择时机加入，最终融入小三的朋友圈。舒心说，“维情服务人员不会向小三表明真实身份，通常是以邻居的身份跟她们成为朋友。”
要赢得小三的信任并不容易，有时，维情服务人员得客串管家或是保姆才能近距离接触到小三。6月份的另一桩委托中，一位上海富商的情人生下了孩子，富商妻子求助于舒心和他的团队，维情服务人员就扮演起育婴师，住进小三的公寓，帮助她照顾孩子，陪这个年轻女人聊天。
The man only visited his mistress occasionally and the "assassin" began using this as a theme in her conversations with the woman. She began complaining about the man to the woman, telling her that the baby would suffer because his father didn't care for him. "After the baby grows up, he will blame you for giving him a broken family." "Your parents must be very sad knowing that you have become someone's mistress."
富商很偶尔才会来看望小三，维情人员借此引入交谈主题。她开始替小三抱不平，抱怨男人不关心孩子，将来孩子会受苦。“一旦孩子长大了懂事了，孩子就会责怪他的妈妈不能给他一个完整的家庭。”“你的父母如果知道你做了小三，一定会非常难过的。”
The constant dispiriting conversations soon affected the-year-old woman and she decided to break up with the man. With the help of the "assassin" the young woman had her baby adopted by a local couple who had been unable to conceive. "The man paid her�,000 yuan compensation," Shu said. "But that's a small amount compared to most of the cases we handle."
谈话的内容令人沮丧，维情人员不断灌输的事实，很快影响到这个26岁的女人，促使她作出决定，跟男人分手。在维情人员的帮助下，女人将孩子交由当地一对不能生育的夫妻收养。“男人付给小三30万元分手费，”舒心告诉记者，“但与我们经手的大多数委托相比较，这只是一个小数目。”
He said the costliest case he had dealt with involved a woman who drove her husband's mistress away by sending her abroad. "She gave the mistress million yuan and asked her not to come back ever."
舒心提到某个他服务过的个案，妻子不惜花费高昂的费用将丈夫的小三送出国，“她给了小三800万元，叫小三永远都不要再回来。”
Weiqing Company director Shu Xin lectures would-be mistress "assassins". Photo: Courtesy of Weiqing Marriage Company
维情咨询师的“小三劝退”实操技能培训 现场
Wealthy and wicked
富有与败德
There's a Chinese saying that "men become bad when they become wealthy." Almost all of the errant husbands that Weiqing Company has dealt with have been wealthy and middle-aged.
Shu reckoned that percent of the mistresses he has encountered care much more for money than for true love. "There's even a percent who are 'professional mistresses' who see two or three men at the same time to get more money," Shu said. He said many professional mistresses had attended underground sex skills classes to help them capture hearts. "These classes have been reported in Guangdong, Liaoning and Henan provinces."
中国有句俗语：“男人有钱就变坏。”维情集团服务的个案中，绝大多数出轨丈夫的共性是：人到中年，富有余钱。
舒心认为，60%的小三更看重钱，而不是所谓真爱。“甚至有20%的小三是‘职业小三’，为了得到更多钱，她们同时交往两三个男人。”舒心介绍称，很多职业小三都偷偷参加性技巧提高班，以便于她们更好地捕获男人心。“这种地下课程，常见于广东、辽宁以及河南等地。”
But most of the time, the mistress or the third parry is not the only one to blame for problems in a marriage. Ming Li, veteran marriage consultant and a Weiqing Company "assassin" said that few women apart from professional mistresses would actually seduce men.
然而大多数时候，婚姻出现问题，不能仅仅归咎于情人或是小三。维情国际婚姻医院情感诊所首席咨询师、经验丰富的婚姻顾问明丽告诉记者，除了职业小三，很少有女人是主动勾引已婚男人的。
"Many are really jerked around by men and become their 'girlfriends' but remain ignorant that the guys are married," said the-year-old. "But the public thinks every 'other woman' is bad and unforgiveable, ignoring the fact that the unfaithful and irresponsible man is more to blame."
She talked about when she accompanied a young woman to have an abortion at a city hospital some years ago. It was a long procedure and Ming waited for hours. The girl's boyfriend, who was a married college lecturer, didn't show up. When Ming called him to tell him the girl was having an abortion he was delighted. "For him a child was nothing but a potential burden."
“许多女人是真的被男人吸引了，才成为他们的‘女朋友’，却不知道男人已经有家室。”46岁的明丽如是说，“可是民众认为小三都不是好东西，不值得原谅，却忽视了不忠和不负责任的男人才更应该指责。”
明丽谈起几年前她曾陪同一位年轻女孩到医院做流产手术，手术过程很漫长，她等了好几个小时。女孩的男友是一名大学讲师，已婚，从始至终没有露面。当明丽致电男人，告诉他女孩已经在进行手术，男人竟然很高兴。“对于他而言，这孩子只是一个潜在的负担。”
The "assassination" business is thriving in China.
“小三劝退”的维情业务已在中国蓬勃发展。
The Weiqing Company is considering expanding its team of "assassins." "We expect to have,000 'assassins' across the country," Shu told the Global Times, adding that the company was recruiting and training "assassins" in Shanghai. "We prefer married women aged over who have majored in psychology, sociology or law," he said. "A good 'assassin' should also be amiable, talkative and persuasive, and she must know China's marriage laws well."
But this new and unregulated business is also in a legal limbo. Although both Shu and Du emphasized that company employees would not begin their work without authorization from their clients, it is hard to know the details of their work and whether this is always legal.
维情集团正在考虑扩大维情咨询师的队伍。“我们计划培训1000名‘维情咨询师’”，舒心告诉《环球时报》记者，招聘和训练的地点就是位于上海的集团总部。“我们会优先考虑录用35岁以上、具备心理学、社会学或法律专业知识的已婚女性，”舒心说，“一名优秀的‘维情咨询师’，形象上要温和可亲，表达能力要强，言谈要有说服力，而且必须非常了解中国的婚姻法。” （《环球时报》记者 黄兰兰）
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